So after an uttely pointless and predictable Elimination Chamber, we start with the greatest women’s champion in the history of wrestling, Alexa Bliss. And for some reason Mickie James aswell, even though she didn’t actually say anything. Along comes Asuka, then Nia, then Bayley and Sasha. This led to yet another, 6 woman tag match. Nothing or note happened until Sasha went for a tag on Bayley, and Bayley jumped off and left her hanging. This can go one of two ways- either Bayley goes heel, which could be brilliant or a total disaster, or Sasha goes heel like we know she can. Either way, it’s setting up a match at Mania, I’m hoping an Iron (wo)man match or something of the sorts. They need to reignite Bayley’s career, and going back to their NXT roots seems like the best way to do it.
Cena took to the ring, said how he’d failed himself blah, blah, blah wants match with Taker but it won’t happen blah, blah, blah, trying his luck at Smackdown. Please don’t put him in the WWE title match. We need AJ v Nakamura 1-on1. NEED IT.
Heath Slater v Bray Wyatt now. Only before the bell had rung, Wyatt laid waste to both of them then blamed Matt Hardy. Which is the rivalry that doesn’t seem to end. With one win each (not counting Hardys loss before he “Broke”) Mania seems like the obvious ending point. After, for the love of god, give Bray something to do. Even an IC title run would be fine.
Miz time. After getting heated about maybe not having a match an Mania, he got to face a resurgent Seth Rollins. The last few weeks he’s been the best superstar in WWE, I’d say even better than AJ himself. He flew near as dammit 3 quarters of the way across the ring to hit a frog splash for the win. Next up, Finn Balor who also beat the Miz with the Coup de Gras. Unfortunately, Miz already having a match took away from Finn’s victory slightly, so I can see a Balor v Rollins match coming at Mania, with Strowman given the IC title shot.
The Bar v Titus and Apollo XXXXVICCML now. 2 out of 3 falls. The Bar won both falls no problem. Apollo did his usual highlight reel stuff, but he needs to distance himself from Titus WORLD-WIIIIDE. I can possibly see The Bar v Authors of Pain at Mania. They deserve the early call up. Or The Revival if they stop getting treated as jobbers.
Elias v BRAAAAUUUUNNN. And actually, Elias handled himself pretty well. He got DQ’d though, using a fire extinguisher to blind Braun and scamper away. They need to be careful with Elias, he could be one of their top heels and they need to use him right. Give him a US or IC run and he’ll establish himself as a major player for years to come.
If you watched Elimination Chamber, or you’ve been under a rock for months, Ronda Rousey is here. And she made a splash, by putting not Stephanie, but Triple H himself, through a table. But everyone apologised, Kurt said he was “ill” and Trip’s parting gift was to punch Angle in the head. So we got the Triple H and Stephanie McMahon v Rousey and Angle at Mania. Because why the hell not, right?
*Sigh* is always how I start Smackdown recently. Kicking off, John Cena. He wants in on the WWE title match at Fastlane. FFS. He gets a match tonight- if he can beat AJ, he’s in the match. Which is fine, we get to see them fight again, but AJs title is still safe until Mania. I’m just, really, really sick of John Cena.
Sami Zayn v Baron Corbin. With Owens on commentary obvs. Actually not a bad match, that was until Dolph Ziggler Superkicked Owens in the side of the head. Corbin hits the End of Days on Zayn for the win, and Ziggler hits Corbin with the Zig Zag. I do like how they’re booking End of Days as a new RKO, if he hits it, it’s over and he can get it from anywhere. He deserves this push right now, he’s been damn near unstoppable and has improved alot.
Ruby Riott v Naomi. It was fine I guess, Riott won clean giving her a bit more momentum. She’s not beating Charlotte at Fastlane but it should be a bit better of a match now.
The New Day were in the ring throwing pancakes. I really hate them now. The Usos came out and talked gibberish. Then out comes The Bludgeon Brothers. And they cleared the ring just by walking into it. Whoever wins at Fastlane, and I’m hoping the Usos because The New Day suck, I would guess the winner faces BBs at Mania.
Aiden English v Shinsuke Nakamura. Obviously Nakamura was always winning, but English actually had some good offence. I can see him as a US champ, totally. And maybe a sing off against Elias. That would be both stupid and funny at the same time.
Now its time for Cena v AJ. And surprise, surprise Cena won and Fastlane is now a 6-way match. AJ will win because it’s AJ v Nakamura at Mania and if that doesn’t happen we’v all been royally screwed. Hopefully Taker appears and accepts Cenas challenge from Raw, but man are we all bored of Cena now.
Velveteen Dream starts us off, facing off against Tyler Bate. An ok match, Dream picking up the win. As Mauro eluded to, Bate’s been on a bit of a losing streak recently, with losses in 205 live, to Roderick Strong and now Dream. I do hope they’re not booking Tyler as a jobber to other wrestlers, he’s better than that. I can easily see him as an NXT champ in the next year.
Cezar Bononi v ADAM COLE BAYBAY! Bononi is fucking huuuuge. But he’s not very smart, being taken in by an offer of joining the Undisputed Era before being blindsided by Cole. After that, the match was over quite quickly, Cole picking up the win.
Kairi Sane v Shayna Baszler. Pretty good, not the match they had in the Mae Young Classic final, but you can see Baszler has been working on her in-ring work. She wins via the Kirifuda Clutch submission. Once Ember Moon goes to the main roster, Baszler could be the alpha in NXT.
Andrade Cien Almas took to the ring to brag about how great he was. Zelina Vega did most of the talking because Almas is hard to understand honestly, but the Aleister Black and Killian Dain had a bit of a scrap in the ring after, with Dain standing tall. By all accounts Black is likely to be top man for the next year or so, with Sanity going to main roster, which I’m absolutely fine with. As long as they stay a faction and dont start getting broken up like the Wyatts.