WWEekly Review #13


First, a few thoughts on the weekends events-
Takeover was damn near the perfect ppv. The ladder match is the best one I’ve seen for 15 years, and maybe one of the best ever. Ember moon was the best I’ve ever seen her, but Shayna Bazsler has obviously put time in the performance center, she was brilliant. And her using her hair for leverage in the kirifuda clutch because her arm was Injured was a master stroke. The tag match was better than any tag match I’ve seen but still not the best match on the card, but made me instantly hate Roderick Strong which, I guess was the point. Aleister Black and Andrade Cien Almas almost stole the show and proved why Black was given the push he’s had and how good Almas can be given the chance.

Wrestlemania started off strong, with an awesome match between Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali, even if it was the pre-show. Miz v Rollins v Balor was incredible, all three giving it their all. This is where the weekend peaked, as it all went downhill from there. Taker v Cena happened, as brief as it was, and made both look like idiots. Braun found a tag partner- some kid called Nicholas from the crowd (who, as it turns out, is the son of one of the refs) and just stood on the outside gripping the rope the whole time. Lesnar v Reigns was an absolute catastrophe. I didn’t expect much out of it, and I got even less. 938 suplexes later Lesnar won which noone wanted. A brief ray of light was Asuka v Charlotte and Rousey/Angle v Triple H/Steph, but everything else just sucked donkey balls. Takeover won the whole weekend, Wrestlemania was good for the three matches mentioned out of 7 POXY HOURS! FPG’s editor in chief Stewart said how come noone has the balls to go to Vince and say “man you gotta see this” and show him Takeover. The answer is, Vince is still stuck in the 90s and won’t listen to the universe. If he did, Reigns wouldn’t have been in the main event in the first place, Rusev would of won the US title, Braun and Elias would have teamed up, and AJ V Nakamura would have been a classic instead of the heel-turn bollocks we inevitably got. Anyway, now that’s off my chest, on to this weeks antics over at WWEland.


The RAW after Wrestlemania is typically high emotion and loud. To tonic that, they gave us Stephanie McMahon first. A chant of “you tapped out” echoed throughout. Steph proved again why we love to hate her. AND, she brought out Rousey, who was a pleasant surprise last night. She worked hard, took her bumps, sold moves well and made a believer out of me. She put Steph in another Armbar which was nice. I’m seeing a female version of Austin v Vince emerging here. Which could be memorable if they do it right.

Nia Jax v Alexa Bliss/Mickie James. We thought a two on one match right? Nia gets a massive ovation and a “you deserve it” chant which Nia looked properly happy with, and Alexa was calles an asshole which was funny as hell. But did Nia have a tag partner? Yes because it’s the RAW after Mania, and we got EMBER MOON. AND they won. Of course.

Braun and…..Nicholas?? Talking with Kurt, relinquishing the tag titles. So what exactly was the fucking point? Unless The Bar are Smackdown bound of course. Which is fine.

No Way Jose makes his Raw debut against some dude. Beat him in like 15 seconds. I do hope this isn’t another Tye Dillinger and he actually gets a chance. He’s got the look that Vince seems to get an erection over.

The Revival v Gallows and Anderson. The first in a “tag team eliminator” match. Revival win via Shatter Machine. I’m hoping they give The Revival their shot, they’re certainly good enough.

Seth Freakin’ Rollins in the ring. Finn interrupts to challenge him, they shake. Miz interrupts, envokes his rematch at Backlash, but challenges Seth and Finn to a 3on2 match against him and the Miztourage. Or it would have been 3on2 bit for the arrival of JEFF HARDY!! Miz don’t want none though. But Jeff Hardy v Finn Balor v Seth Rollins? Make that match happen. Make it. Do it.

Sasha Banks v Mandy Rose. Although Bayley appeared and didnt really get a reaction, apart from a short and quite quiet “Heeeeeeey, hey Bayley”. She’d do better on Smackdown I reckon. Anyway, oh no Bayley accidentally punched Sasha but Sasha doesn’t think it’s an accident. Fucks sake bring this to an end. Bayley heel turn “I meant every thing I did” angle would be fine. Paige addressed the crowd, telling them what we all knew- she’s done competing. Neck injuries have taken their toll, and she’s finding something else. Like her or hate her, it’s always hard to see someone in the infancy or their career get it cut short.

Elias holds a concert, calls everyone scumbags to which the crowd chant “we are scumbags” which was amazing. He got interrupted by the returning BOBBY LASHLEY! If you don’t know Lashley, he’s basically a black Brock Lesnar who actually likes being in the ring. He’s called the Dark Destroyer for a reason. And he destroyed Elias.

Heath Slater and Rhyno issue an open challenge. AUTHORS. OF. PAIN. They annihilated Heath. But surprisingly, they left Paul Ellering behind after they won. Hmmmm.

Lesnar has re-signed with WWE. Yeah great whatever. Reigns comes out to massive boos. Yeah great whatever. But SAMOA JOE! And the crowd hung on his every word. JOE is so good on the mic it’s unreal.

Titus and Apollo v Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy. The second “tag team eliminator” and Bray and Matt together could be incredible. They’ve clicked so quickly and if WWE let them decide their own direction like they have Woken Matt, they could be truly entertaining. They won, so meet The Revival next week, the winner meeting The Bar at The greatest Royal Rumble in Saudi Arabia for the titles.

Kevin Owens v Sami Zayn. After losing at Mania, and pleading with Angle for a chance, Angle has said he has one spot on his roster open so they must face each other for it. And Jesus, these two were fighting like it was actual job on the line rather than a Kayfabe job. A double 10 count was a bitter end to an amazing match, but I’m sure they’ll do it again.

Backstage, Finn Seth and Jeff were making their way to the ring when Jeff saw Matt, and then Bray appeared and they had a strange reunion, with Finn and Seth looking dumbfounded and it was really funny. If Raw can keep this sort of stuff up all year their onto a winner.

Miz and Miztourage v Balor Rollins and Jeff. Not too bad a match, turned into a bit of a spot fest, Curtis Adam was loving the “AxelMania” chants, I think this was just a blow-out match. Didn’t really mean alot to anyone but Jeff Hardy proved he’s still got it at least. Yeah that’s it for Raw. They won’t keep this sort of show up all year but we can dream cant we?


So, Daniel Bryan has resigned as GM of Smackdown, to compete in the ring again (Yes! Yes! Yes!) and we have a new one – Paige! Who could be awesome in the role, and hopefully carry on the passion that Daniel brought. Her first action was to give us Daniel Bryan v AJ Styles. So it’s going well so far.

Usos v New Day. The winner facing the new Smackdown Tag Team Champs Bludgeon Brothers at THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE (name needs some work). Firstly, Xavier Woods lifted Big E on to his shoulders which is stupid strength so bravo for that. Secondly, as much as I don’t like the New Day, whenever they get in the ring with the Usos, it’s always a great match, tonight is no exception. Usos win. Which they should as I’d say they’re still the best tag team on the main roster right now.

Naomi v Natalya. So, Naomi won the Wrestlemania Women’s battle royal, which noone seems to care about so they may not do it again. It might mean more if they get some sort of title shot, maybe at the next PPV, but right now it’s for bragging rights and nothing else. It wasn’t a terrible match, but Charlotte v Asuka it ain’t. Naomi wins with a split-legged moonsault.

Charlotte in the ring, after the incredible match she had with Asuka, which she ended a 2 and a half year winning streak. But she’s interrupted by the ICONIC DUO, Billie Kay and Peyton Royce. And they beat her up. And beat her good. After that, CARMELLA CASHES IN AND WINS. Which could work fine it’s about time they had a proper heel title run in the smackdown woman’s division. Time will tell how good a champion she is, but she milked it a bit so it could get annoying quickly.

Roode v Orton v Rusev. A no1 contenders match for the US title. Because Jinder fucking Mahal won. Seriously. Mahal. Yeah l dunno either. Anyway, Aiden English shaved off what little hair he had left, and looks better for it. Orton won the match. Why can’t they see what they have in Rusev? He’s the most ridiculously over wrestler they have at the moment, yet when push comes to shove they keep giving Orton and fucking Mahal the opportunities.

Daniel Bryan v AJ Styles. And what was an excellent technical match, was ruined by Nakamura getting involved. Clearly he’s heel now, and breaking up a fantasy match (as they told us about 20 times) is the best way to stamp that status.


Kairi Sane v Lacey Evans. Actually, not a bad match. Evans showed us she’s been working on her in-ring skills, having majority of the offence, but Sane wins via the In-Sane elbow. Both should have a good push tis year, with Ember Moon, Billie Kay and Peyton Royce already making debuts in the main roster.

Heavy Machinery v Sabbetelli and Moss. A match that happened, but was thrown out due to interference by War Machine! Although now they’re being called War Raiders (If they used War Machine, WWE own it therefore can’t use it again if they go back to the indies) and they destroyed the lot of em. If you’ve never seen them before, this is slightly on the tamer side compared to what they can do.

Only the 2 matches this week, with the most part showing us highlights from Takeover, which is fine because it was an amazing 10/10 show.


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